如何幫助受苦者How to help - and not hurt - others in pain
“How to help - and not hurt - others in pain”
“如何帮助并且不伤害到在痛苦中的⼈”
We all have stories of pain, don't we. We’re often not sure what to do it or how to help people who experience it.
In the first week, many of us wrote down our own thorns and added them our symbolic wailing wall –
right here. That wall contains a variety of thorns of various sizes and shapes, short term and long
term pain, past and present suffering, internal and external angst.
我们都有痛苦的故事，不是吗？我们经常不确定该怎么办，或者如何帮助那些经历痛苦的⼈。
在第⼀周，我们中的许多⼈写下了⾃⼰的痛苦，将它们贴到了我们象征性的哭墙上，就在这
⾥。那⾯墙上有各种各样⼤⼩和形状的刺，短期和⻓期的痛苦，过去和现在的苦难，内在和外在的烦恼。
In many ways, it is captured here in the messiness in our painting.
And yes, we have an artist joining me. Let me introduce you to Nicola Warner – who is going to bring
a visual demonstration of what we are hoping to achieve through our series.
--
Throughout the centuries there has been a particular story that people who have faced the messiness
of suffering have been drawn to again and again. It’s the story of one of the best men who has ever
lived who suffered more deeply than any who has ever lived.
在很多⽅⾯，它在我们的画画的混乱中体现出来了。
是的，我们有⼀位艺术家加⼊了我。让我介绍⼀下尼古拉·沃纳 - 她将通过视觉演示展示我们希
望通过我们的系列讲道实现的⽬标。
⼏个世纪以来，有⼀个特定的故事⼀再吸引着那些经历过痛苦混乱的⼈。这是⼀个关于有史以
来承受了⽐任何⼈都要深的苦难的最优秀的⼈物的故事。
It’s the story of a man named Job. It’s found amidst the Hebrew Scriptures in our Bibles.
The story begins by describing Job’s happy and blessed life:
这是⼀个叫约伯的⼈的故事。它可以在我们圣经的希伯来经卷中找到。
故事从描述约伯幸福和蒙福的⽣活开始：
There once was a man named Job who lived in the land of Uz. He was blameless—a man of complete
integrity. He feared God and stayed away from evil./ Job 1:1 (NLT)
乌斯地有⼀个⼈名叫约伯。这⼈完全、正直、敬畏上帝、远离恶事。 (约伯记1:1)
If anyone can truly be called ‘good’ it’s this guy.
Tuck this away because it will come in handy later in our story.
Again, notice that his outer and inner life were above reproach. There were no spots, no wrinkles, no
hidden areas of moral failure. All this came out of a genuine relationship he had with God.
如果有⼈真正可以被称为“好⼈”，那就是这个⼈。
请记住这个，因为在我们的故事中它会有⽤处。
再次注意，他的外在和内在⽣活都是⽆可指责的。没有污点，没有问题，没有道德失败的隐秘
地⽅。所有这⼀切都源于他与上帝的真挚关系。
We’re also told he was incredibly blessed:
我们还被告知他受到了极⼤的祝福：
He had seven sons and three daughters. He owned 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 teams of oxen,
and 500 female donkeys. He also had many servants. He was, in fact, the richest person in that entire
area./ Job 1:2-3
他⽣了七个⼉⼦，三个⼥⼉。 他的家产有七千只⽺，三千匹骆驼，五百对⽜，五百匹⺟驴，并
有许多仆婢。这⼈在东⽅⼈中为⾄⼤。 (约伯记1:2-3)
• Not only did Job have character but he also has a big family: Ten kids – this was a sign of
blessing.
• He had 7000 sheep. That’s a huge farm in the ancient world. Lots of meat, lots of wool.
• He had 3000 camels. In the ancient world that’s the equivalent of a big trucking fleet.
• He had 500 pairs of Oxen and 500 donkeys. Think the equivalent of tractors and heavy farm
machinery.
• He had many servants, in other words, a large staff of employees.
• 约伯不仅具备品德，⽽且还有⼀个⼤家庭：⼗个孩⼦ - 这是祝福的象征。
• 他拥有7000只⽺。在古代世界，这是⼀个庞⼤的农场。有很多⾁，有很多⽺⽑。
• 他拥有3000只骆驼。在古代世界，这相当于⼀个庞⼤的货⻋⻋队。
• 他拥有500对公⽜和500匹驴。可以想象相当于拖拉机和重型农机设备。
• 他有很多仆⼈，换句话说，有⼀⽀庞⼤的员⼯团队。
Job was a successful man. The list was code at the time for saying ‘God’s blessing was upon Job’s life.’
But one day this good man’s life came crashing down.
Have you ever watched the demolition of a large building? The dynamite is placed in strategic places
in the basement. Its lit, all at once, – the building falls in a heap.
That’s the picture here of what happens to Job. One by one messengers arrived to bring bad news:
约伯是⼀个成功的⼈。 那个时候，这个列表是表达“上帝的祝福降临在约伯的⽣活中”的代码。
但有⼀天，这个好⼈的⽣活崩溃了。
你曾经看过⼤楼的拆除吗？炸药被放置在地下室的战略位置。它被点燃，顷刻之间，整座建筑
物坍塌成⼀堆。
这就是发⽣在约伯身上的情况。⼀个接⼀个的信使前来带来坏消息：
One day when Job’s sons and daughters were feasting at the oldest brother’s house, a messenger
arrived at Job’s home with this news: “Your oxen were plowing, with the donkeys feeding beside
them, when the Sabeans raided us. They stole all the animals and killed all the farmhands. I am the
only one who escaped to tell you.”
While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news: “The fire of God has fallen
from heaven and burned up your sheep and all the shepherds. I am the only one who escaped to tell
you.”
While he was still speaking, a third messenger arrived with this news: “Three bands of Chaldean
raiders have stolen your camels and killed your servants. I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”
While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news: “Your sons and daughters
were feasting in their oldest brother’s home. Suddenly, a powerful wind swept in from the wilderness
and hit the house on all sides. The house collapsed, and all your children are dead. I am the only one
who escaped to tell you.”/ Job 1:13-19
有⼀天，约伯的⼉⼥正在他们⻓兄的家⾥吃饭喝酒， 有报信的来⻅约伯，说：“⽜正耕地，⺟
驴在旁边吃草， 示巴⼈忽然闯来，把牲畜掳去，并⽤⼑杀了仆⼈；惟有我⼀⼈逃脱，来报信给
你。”
他还说话的时候，⼜有⼈来说：“上帝从天上降下⽕来，把⽺群和仆⼈都吞灭了；惟有我⼀⼈
逃脱，来报信给你。”
他还说话的时候，⼜有⼈来说：“迦勒底⼈分成三队忽然闯来，把骆驼掳去，并⽤⼑杀了仆
⼈；惟有我⼀⼈逃脱，来报信给你。”
他还说话的时候，⼜有⼈来说：“你的⼉⼥正在他们⻓兄的家⾥吃饭喝酒， 看哪，有狂⻛从旷
ᰀ刮来，袭击房屋的四⻆，房屋倒塌在年轻⼈身上，他们就都死了；惟有我⼀⼈逃脱，来报信
给你。”(约伯记1:13-19)
Violent raids, fire, wind – it all came together.
Within minutes Job’s life crashed into rubble.
Everything he held as precious – everything that he enjoyed was destroyed in a matter of minutes.
The best possible man has just had the worst possible day!
暴⼒袭击、⽕灾、狂⻛ - ⼀切都汇聚在⼀起。
在⼏分钟内，约伯的⽣活坍塌成了废墟。
他所珍视的⼀切 - 他所享受的⼀切在⼏分钟内被摧毁。
这位最好的⼈刚刚度过了最糟糕的⼀天！
And do you know what? It got worse!
As we turn into the next chapter we read:
⽽你知道吗？情况变得更糟！
当我们翻到下⼀章时，我们读到：
Satan … struck Job with terrible boils from head to foot. Job scraped his skin with a piece of broken
pottery as he sat among the ashes. / Job 2:7-8
于是撒但从耶和华⾯前退出去，击打约伯，使他从脚掌到头顶⻓毒疮。 约伯就坐在灰烬中，拿
瓦⽚刮身体。(约伯记2:7-8)
Job knew what it was to lose 10 children, his business, his home, his career, his health. And he is
about to learn what is to lose a reputation and be rejected even when you have nothing wrong.
While very few people suffer to the degree that Job did, we can’t read this and not enter the painful
world of hurt and loss.
约伯知道失去10个孩⼦、⽣意、家园、事业、健康是什么感觉。他即将知道失去声誉，甚⾄在
没有犯错的情况下被拒绝的滋味。
虽然很少有⼈像约伯那样遭受如此⼤的苦难，但我们⽆法阅读这个故事⽽不进⼊痛苦和失落的
世界。
The question we want to sit with today is: how do you help a person in suffering?
All of us will not only have our own thorns, It’s also true that we are surrounded by others who
experience thorns, pain, heart-aches, loss. It might be your family member, your friend, your
colleague, your neighbour, or a fellow person at church.
今天我们要思考的问题是：如何帮助⼀个正在受苦的⼈？
我们每个⼈不仅都有⾃⼰的痛苦，⽽且我们周围还有其他⼈正在经历刺、痛苦、⼼痛和失落。
这可能是你的家⼈、朋友、同事、邻居，或是教会⾥的其他⼈。
So, how do we help?
Well, the next 30 or so chapters of this book shows us how Job’s friends responded. We’re invited to
watch and listen to what his friends do and say, and how Job reacts. Does it help him or hurt him?
4 of 20
As we enter in, we see the good, the bad and the ugly of responses.
We’re going to look at five different roles that people often take on as they respond to a person who
is suffering. One of the five roles is good. The other four move from bad to ugly.
那么，我们应该如何帮助他们呢？
好的，这卷书的接下来⼤约30章展示了约伯的朋友们是如何回应的。我们被邀请观察和聆听他
的朋友们的⾏动和⾔辞，以及约伯的反应。这是否对他有所帮助，还是对他造成伤害？
当我们投⼊其中，我们会看到这些回应的好、坏和丑陋之处。
我们将探讨⼈们在回应受苦者时通常扮演的五种不同⻆⾊。其中⼀种⻆⾊是好的，另外四种从
糟糕到丑陋不等。
The first role that Job’s friends took on is what we should all take on:
[tick] The Friend, who is fully attentive, present, and caring
约伯的朋友们扮演的第⼀个⻆⾊是我们所有⼈都应该扮演的：
[√] 全⼼关注、陪伴和关⼼的朋友。
At the end of chapter two, Job has friends who drop everything to come to his aid:
在第⼆章的末尾，约伯有朋友们放下⼀切来帮助他：
When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from
their homes to comfort and console him. Their names were Eliphaz …Bildad, and Zophar. When they
saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw
dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven
days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words./
Job 2:11-13
约伯的三个朋友，提幔⼈以利法、书亚⼈⽐勒达、拿玛⼈琐法，听说这⼀切的灾祸临到他身
上，各⼈就从⾃⼰的地⽅相约同来，为他悲伤，安慰他。 他们远远地举⽬观看，认不出他来，
就放声⼤哭。各⼈撕裂外袍，向空中撒尘⼟，落在⾃⼰的头上。 他们同他七天七夜坐在地上，
⼀句话也不对他说，因为他们⻅到了极⼤的痛苦。(约伯记2:11-13)
These three friends dropped everything to be with Job. They wept with him. They recognised his
pain. They sat there for 7 days and nights.
And did you notice that last sentence: “No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was
too great for words.”
This is the friendship we all need in moments of pain.
这三个朋友放下⼀切与约伯在⼀起。他们和他⼀起哭泣。他们认出了他的痛苦。他们在那⾥坐
了七天七夜。
你们注意到最后⼀句话了吗:“⼀句话也不对他说，因为他们⻅到了极⼤的痛苦。”
这是我们在痛苦时刻所需要的友谊。
18 years ago this month, Robyn and I lost our firstborn son at birth. His name was TJ. I remember our
small group coming around to our home in the days of our grief. It was a Saturday morning. They
made their own coffees and sat with us. I remember a lot of awkwardness in the group as people had
no idea what to do or say. I love they way they came and sat there with us, hearing our story. Their
presence brought a profound comfort that is hard to describe.
18年前的这个⽉，罗宾和我在我们的⻓⼦出⽣时失去了他。他的名字叫TJ。我记得在我们悲伤
的⽇⼦⾥，我们⼩组的⼈来到我家。那是⼀个星期六的早晨。他们⾃⼰做咖啡，坐在我们身
边。我记得在⼩组中有很多尴尬，因为⼈们不知道该做什么或说什么。我喜欢他们坐在我们身
边，倾听我们故事。他们的存在带来了⼀种难以形容的深刻安慰。
The apostle Paul talks about a similar experience. We heard about his thorn two weeks ago. Not far
from talking about his thorn, Paul talks about a friendship that God used to help him in a very dark
moment:
使徒保罗也讲过类似的经历。我们两个星期前就听到了他的刺的故事。在谈到他的刺之后不
久，保罗谈到了上帝在他⾮常⿊暗的时刻⽤来帮助他的友谊:
"But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus.”/ 2 Corinthians 7:6
但那安慰灰⼼之⼈的上帝藉着提多来安慰了我们； (哥林多后书7:6)
It might seem like a fleeting comment. But it lets us know that one of the ways God brings comfort is
through the presence of a good friend. Friends have a way of helping us sit with the mess of what
we’re experiencing.
Some cultures do this better than others, don’t they? Maori and Pacifica cultures instinctively come
around each other in moments of pain, listening to stories, reminiscing through photos. Pakeha,
Chinese, and European cultures tend to be more private and somewhat awkward – and find it hard to
know what to do.
这似乎是⼀个短暂的评论。但它让我们知道，上帝带来安慰的⽅式之⼀是通过⼀个好朋友的陪
伴。朋友总有办法帮助我们⾯对我们正在经历的混乱。
有些⽂化⽐其他⽂化更擅⻓这样做，不是吗？⽑利和太平洋岛⺠⽂化本能地在痛苦时刻互相⽀
持，倾听故事，通过照⽚回忆往事。新⻄兰⽩⼈、中国和欧洲⽂化往往更加私密，有些尴尬，
不知道该怎么做。
So, I asked a handful of people recently who had experienced the best and worst of responses in their
own thorns. They gave some simple advice:
所以，我最近问了⼀些⼈，他们在⾃⼰的刺中经历过最好和最坏的反应。他们给出了⼀些简单
的建议:
• If it’s the loss of someone - rather than send flowers, turn up with flowers.
• Even better than taking flowers, take some fruit – because they may already have 20 bunches
of flowers on their dining table.
• Please don’t make it about yourself. Realise that you may feel some discomfort and
awkwardness. But, remember, it’s not about how you feel, and your friend shouldn’t have to
be burdened by making you feel less awkward.
• Continue to invite them to the event you are planning. Don’t make decisions for them.
• The bit of advice that came up every single time: Listen deeply. As one said, “Convey that we
are fiercely present with them.”
• 如果是失去某⼈——与其送花，不如带着花出现在⾯前。
• ⽐带鲜花更好的是带⼀些⽔果——因为他们的餐桌上可能已经有20束鲜花了。
• 请不要把它变成关于⾃⼰的事。意识到你可能会感到⼀些不适和尴尬。但请记住，这不
是关于你的感受，你的朋友不应该因为让你感到不那么尴尬⽽负担沉重。
• 继续邀请他们参加你计划的活动。不要替他们做决定。
• 每次都提出的⼀点建议是:认真倾听。就像⼀个⼈说的:“让他们知道我们与他们同在。”
When Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar took on the role of friends –and simply sat with Job without saying
a word – it’s then that they provided comfort. BUT, after the 7 days, they began to speak. The
speeches take up the next 30 chapters (!).
They initially begin with some sensitivity – though completely wrong. They devolve into cutting blows.
We move from the good to the bad and the ugly.
当以利法、⽐勒达和琐法扮演朋友的⻆⾊ - 并且只是默默地坐在约伯旁边⽽不说话 - 那时他们
提供了安慰。但是，在过去的7天之后，他们开始讲话。这些演讲占据了接下来的30（！）。
他们最初开始时还有⼀些敏感性 - 尽管完全错误。后来他们变得刻薄。我们从好到坏再到丑陋。
Remember, these three friends had the right intent – like I’m sure we all have in such times. But what
they said actually added further hurt to the very person who was already hurting.
In fact, half way through these speeches, Job cries out:
记住，这三个朋友的意图是正确的——我相信我们在这种时候都是这样。但他们说的话实际上
给已经受伤的⼈带来了进⼀步的伤害。
事实上，在这些演讲进⾏到⼀半的时候，约伯⼤声喊道:
What miserable comforters you are!/ Job 16:2
你们全都是使⼈愁烦的安慰者。(约伯记16:2)
So, how did they go from helping to hurting?
Instead of simply being a friend, they took on four additional – and harmful - roles.
The first is what I call ...
那么，他们是如何从帮助变成伤害的呢?
他们不仅仅是朋友，还承担了另外四个有害的⻆⾊。
第⼀个是我称之为…
[X] The Philosopher, who gives their answer to the ‘why’ question
[X]哲学家，他们给出了“为什么”这个问题的答案
During the 7 days, they have watched Job lament. During these seven days, they begin to wonder ‘so,
why is this happening?’
Remember, Job’s life had been divinely blessed. Within minutes - He lost his children, his business, his
home – back to back. Then, his health plummeted. Something is up.
在这七天⾥，他们看着约伯哀哭。在这七天⾥，他们开始想:“为什么会发⽣这种事?””
记住，约伯的⼀⽣是蒙神祝福的。⼏分钟之内，他接连失去了孩⼦、⽣意和家。然后，他的健
康状况⼀落千丈。发⽣了⼀些事情。
It’s natural to ask the ‘why’ question. It’s okay for someone in suffering to ask the question. When
Jesus was on the cross in excruciating pain – he cried out ‘My God, my God, Why are you forsaking
me?’
Yes, it’s natural to ask the why question. But problems always come up when we try to answer it!
问“为什么”是很⾃然的。对于正在受苦的⼈来说，提出这个问题是可以理解的。当耶稣在⼗字
架上经历极度痛苦时，他呼喊：“我的上帝，我的上帝，你为何离弃我？”
是的，问“为什么”的问题是很⾃然的。但当我们试图回答这个问题时，问题就会出现！
Anyone who has spent time with a suffering friend knows that are basic instinct is to investigate what
went wrong, pontificate over the reasons, and try to fix things!
We take on the role of philosopher who gives their answer to the why question.
The problem is that we all tend to get the answer wrong – badly wrong.
任何与遭受痛苦的朋友共度时光的⼈都知道，我们的基本本能是调查发⽣了什么问题，沉思原
因，试图修复事情！我们扮演哲学家的⻆⾊，提供了⾃⼰对“为什么”问题的答案。问题在于，
我们往往都会答错 - 错得很严重。
We see this in Job’s story – everyone gets the answer wrong. What’s more they never discover what is
going on behind the scenes.
The truth behind Job’s story is given to us in chapter 1 and 2 where we see some interaction between
God and Satan concerning Job.
我们在约伯的故事中看到了这⼀点 - 每个⼈都答错了。⽽且更重要的是，他们从未发现幕后究
竟发⽣了什么。
约伯的故事背后的真相在第1章和第2章向我们揭示，我们在那⾥看到了上帝和撒但之间关于约
伯的⼀些互动。
One day the members of the heavenly court came to present themselves before the LORD, and the
Accuser, Satan, came with them…Then the LORD asked Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job? He is
the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays
away from evil.”
I love the pride God takes in his boy - Job.
有⼀天，上帝的众使者来侍⽴在耶和华⾯前，撒但也来在其中。 耶和华对撒但说：“你从哪⾥
来？”撒但回答耶和华说：“我从地上⾛来⾛去，在那⾥往返。” 耶和华对撒但说：“你曾⽤⼼察
看我的仆⼈约伯没有？地上再没有⼈像他那样完全、正直、敬畏上帝、远离恶事。”
我喜欢上帝对他的仆⼈约伯感到⾃豪。
Satan replied to the LORD, “Yes, but Job has good reason to fear God. You have always put a wall of
protection around him and his home and his property. You have made him prosper in everything he
does. Look how rich he is! But reach out and take away everything he has, and he will surely curse
you to your face!”
撒但回答耶和华说：“约伯敬畏上帝，岂是⽆故呢？ 你岂不是四⾯圈上篱笆围护他和他的家，
以及他⼀切所有的吗？他⼿所做的都蒙你赐福，他的家产也在地上增多。 但你若伸⼿毁他⼀切
所有的，他必当⾯背弃你。”
“All right, you may test him,” the LORD said to Satan. “Do whatever you want with everything he
possesses, but don’t harm him physically.”/ Job 1:6-12
耶和华对撒但说：“看哪，凡他所有的都在你⼿中；只是不可伸⼿加害于他。”于是撒但从耶和
华⾯前退出去。(约伯记1:6-12)
This raises all sorts of questions. But the purpose of this story and this message isn’t to answer those
questions. Typically, the biblical authors give us just enough details to understand what’s going on
behind the scenes.
One of the things the author wants to show us that in Job’s case, there is a reason.
In this case, Satan accuses Job of only serving God because of what he gets. Satan hisses “take it all
away and he will curse you. Job is only in it for the benefits. He doesn’t love YOU God. He only loves
himself and is using you to better himself. You are a means to an end. I’ll prove it to you. Make things
unprofitable for him, stop blessing him – and you will see. He will drop you like a hot iron!”
这引发了各种问题。但这个故事和这个信息的⽬的并不是回答这些问题。通常，圣经的作者只
给我们⾜够的细节来理解幕后发⽣了什么。
作者想要向我们展示的⼀件事情是，在约伯的情况下，存在⼀个原因。
在这种情况下，撒但指责约伯只是因为得到了什么才事奉上帝。撒但嘶嘶地说：“把⼀切都夺
⾛，他就会诅咒你。约伯只是出于⾃身利益才这么做。他不爱你，上帝。他只爱⾃⼰，正在利
⽤你来提升⾃⼰。你只是达到⼀个⽬的的⼿段。我会向你证明的。让⼀切对他都不再有益处，
停⽌祝福他 - 你就会看到。他会像丢掉烫⼿的铁块⼀样抛弃你！”
So, God allows Satan to test Job. God has confidence about Job’s love for him. But how do you prove
a love like that? And how do you develop a love like this?
Let’s say you initially fall in love with a person, and, if you are honest, it was partly because of some of
the person’s ‘assets’ - his or her good looks or connections. But as the relationship progresses, you
begin to love the person for himself or herself alone. And when the assets go away – the looks, the
connections -- you don’t mind. We call this mature/genuine love.
The only way to test that love with God is to have hardship come into your life. When something you
want is taken away – do you abandon him? Is God simply a Gennie to your demands?
因此，上帝允许撒但来测试约伯。上帝对约伯对他的爱有信⼼。但要如何证明这种爱呢？如何
培养出这样的爱？
假设你最初爱上⼀个⼈，坦⽩说，部分原因是因为这个⼈的“资产” - 他或她的容貌或⼈际关
系。但随着关系的发展，你开始只因为这个⼈本身⽽爱他或她。当这些“资产”消失时 - 容貌、
⼈际关系 - 你也不介意。我们称之为成熟/真挚的爱。
唯⼀测试与上帝这种爱的⽅法就是让苦难降临到你的⽣活中。当你想要的东⻄被拿⾛时 - 你是
否会抛弃上帝？上帝是否只是你的愿望的实现者？
The author of Job wants us to realise that there is a reason behind Job’s suffering. But, Job and his
friends aren’t aware of it – and will never be aware of it.
Isn’t this how it is in most of the things that happen to us in life? We often don’t know the reason.
Even if we knew the answer – it probably wouldn’t help.
《约伯记》的作者希望我们认识到约伯的苦难背后是有原因的。但是，约伯和他的朋友们并不
知道这个原因 - ⽽且永远不会知道。
这不正是⽣活中⼤多数事情的情况吗？我们经常不知道原因。即使我们知道答案 - 也可能不会
有所帮助。
I wonder how much harm has been caused by people who try to answer the why question – often
giving sound-bites or bumper sticker answers to suffering:
“It’s all for the best.”
“It’s part of God’s plan.”
“God never sends people more adversity than they can handle.”
“we know that God causes everything to work together for good.”
我不禁思考，有多少⼈试图回答“为什么”这个问题，却常常对苦难提供简单⽽空洞的答案，
如：
“这都是为了更好的。”
“这是上帝的计划的⼀部分。”
“上帝永远不会给⼈带来超出他们承受能⼒的苦难。”
“我们知道上帝使⼀切互相效⼒，使⼈得益处。”
It’s true – but wouldn’t it more helpful — to simply say, “I’m so sorry this is happening to you.”
People don’t need to hear our answer to the why reason. They don’t even need to hear that there is a
reason. Typically, all this does is bring additional confusion and hurt.
这是真的，但简单地说：“我很抱歉这发⽣在你身上。”可能会更有帮助。⼈们不需要听到我们
对“为什么”的回答。他们甚⾄不需要知道有⼀个原因。通常，这样做只会带来额外的困惑和伤
害。
When we take on the role of philosopher, not only are we likely to get it wrong, we are also likely to
bring hurt, not help.
If only Job’s friends stayed in their role as friends and remained present and silent -- they would have
become agents of God’s compassion.
当我们扮演哲学家的⻆⾊时，不仅有可能答错，还有可能带来伤害⽽不是帮助。
如果约伯的朋友们只是保持朋友的身份，保持在⼀旁默默陪伴 - 他们本可以成为上帝怜悯的使者。
There is another role the friends took on:
[X] The Judge, who blames the sufferer
朋友们还扮演了另⼀个⻆⾊：
[X] 法官，责备受苦者
When Job’s first friend – Eliphaz – opens his mouth, he begins with what at first seems polite …
当约伯的第⼀个朋友 - 以利法 - 开⼝说话时，他开始的话起初似乎很客⽓…
“Will you be patient and let me say a word?”/ Job 4:1
“⼈想与你说话，你就厌烦吗？但谁能忍住不发⾔呢？(约伯记4:2 )
Seems okay. But, then he subtly accuses Job of wrong doing.
似乎还好，但然后他巧妙地指责约伯有错。
“Stop and think! Do the innocent die? When have the upright been destroyed? My experience shows
that those who plant trouble and cultivate evil will harvest the same.”/ Job 4:7-8
“请你追想：⽆辜的⼈有谁灭亡？正直的⼈何处被剪除？按我所⻅，耕罪孽的，种毒害的，照
样收割。(约伯记4:7-8 )
Do you hear the subtle insinuation beneath all this: “Job, you must have planted trouble somewhere
and its now coming back to haunt you.”
That’s bad enough and then his friends come up with random and invented charges:
你是否听到这⼀切背后的隐晦暗示：“约伯，你⼀定在某个地⽅埋下了麻烦，现在它回来困扰
你。”
这已经很糟糕了，然后他的朋友们提出了毫⽆根据和捏造的指控：
“You must have refused water for the thirsty and food for the hungry…You must have sent widows
away empty-handed and crushed the hopes of orphans.” / Job 22:7, 9
疲乏的⼈，你没有给他⽔喝；饥饿的⼈，你没有给他⻝物。...你打发寡妇空⼿回去，你折断孤
⼉的膀臂。(约伯记22:7,9 )
From the beginning of the story – we know that Job is blameless.
They’re saying all this to a guy who has lost everything!
If Eliphaz was somewhat subtle, another friend – Bildad –roars in like a theological bull:
从故事⼀开始，我们就知道约伯是⽆可指责的。
他们是在对⼀个失去了⼀切的⼈说这些话！
如果以利法有点隐晦，另⼀个朋友 - ⽐勒达 - 则像神学上的公⽜⼀样咆哮：
Does the Almighty twist what is right? Your children must have sinned against him, so their
punishment was well deserved. But if you pray to God and seek the favour of the Almighty, and if you
are pure and live with integrity, he will surely rise up and restore your happy home./ Job 8:4-5
全能者岂能偏离公义？或者你的⼉⼥得罪了他，他就把他们交在过犯的掌控中。你若切切寻求
上帝，向全能者恳求；(约伯记8:3-5 )
You can paraphrase that to “Job, let’s cut to the chase. God killed your ten kids because he was sick to
death of their sin. But if you pray and do right – you will get a happy home again.”
Unbelievable!
While most of us won’t roar in with theological guns blazing, many of us still take on the role of judgeand likely with some subtlety we insinuate that the person “must have done something bad!”
Remember, the friends are saying this with the right intent. They believe they are right. And they
want to fix Job: they believe that if Job simply repents, all will be well.
你可以这样解释：“约伯，让我们来直奔主题吧。上帝因为受够了你的⼉⼥的罪孽，所以杀了
他们。但如果你祷告并⾏善，你将再次拥有幸福的家庭。”
难以置信！
虽然我们⼤多数⼈不会带着神学的⽕药桶⼤声喧哗，但我们中的许多⼈仍然会扮演法官的⻆⾊
- 并可能以某种微妙的⽅式暗示那个⼈“⼀定做了什么坏事！”
请记住，这些朋友是出于善意说这些话的。他们相信⾃⼰是对的。他们想要帮助约伯：他们相
信如果约伯简单地忏悔，⼀切都会好起来。
But it’s a faulty theology.
They believed that if you are good, God will give you a good life. If you’re bad, God will ensure you
suffer in your life. At first, Job had been good - therefore God had prospered him. But now, he must
have sinned and been pretty bad because God is now punishing him.
But you see, not all my problems are caused by my own sins or wrongdoing. Yes, my personal sin can
cause problems and suffering. Yes, I realize that at our core, we are sinful and needy. Yet Job teaches
that there is such a thing as innocent suffering.
但这是⼀个错误的神学观点。
他们相信如果你⾏善，上帝会赐予你美好的⽣活。如果你⾏恶，上帝会确保你在⽣活中受苦。
起初，约伯是个好⼈ - 因此上帝赐予他繁荣。但现在，他⼀定犯了罪，变得相当坏，因为上帝
正在惩罚他。
但你看，不是所有的问题都是由⾃⼰的罪⾏或不当⾏为引起的。是的，个⼈的罪⾏可以引发问
题和苦难。是的，我明⽩在我们的本质上，我们是有罪和需要的。然⽽，约伯的故事告诉我们
有⼀种⽆辜的苦难存在。
As readers, we know that Job’s suffering is not punitive. It is not corrective. It is not the discipline of
God upon his life. It is actually happening because God is backing Job.
And let me say this: If you are going through pain and you’ve had people take on the role of Judge – I
am sorry. If that’s you, I want you to know that Jesus also knows what it is like to be falsely accused. In
his case, the religious leaders wrongly accused him of being demon-possessed. The crowd accused
him of being cursed by God. I want you to know that God knows what it is like to be judged unfairly.
作为读者，我们知道约伯的苦难不是惩罚性的。它不是纠正性的。它不是上帝对他⽣活的管
教。实际上，这是因为上帝⽀持约伯⽽发⽣的。
让我补充⼀句：如果你正在经历痛苦，⽽有⼈扮演了法官的⻆⾊ - 我很抱歉。如果你是其中之
⼀，我想让你知道，耶稣也知道被错误指控是什么感觉。在他的情况下，宗教领袖错误地指控
他被魔⻤附体。⼈群指责他受到上帝的诅咒。我想让你知道，上帝知道被不公正地评判是什么
感觉。
If only Job’s friends stayed in their role as friends, they would have become agents of God’s
compassion.
Instead, they took on the role of philosopher and judge.
There is another role people can wrongly take on:
如果约伯的朋友们能够保持朋友的⻆⾊，他们本可以成为上帝怜悯的使者。
相反，他们扮演了哲学家和法官的⻆⾊。
⼈们还可以错误地扮演另⼀种⻆⾊：
[X] The Competitor, who compares your pain with theirs
This role doesn’t come up among Job’s friends. But, Rowland Forman, author of ‘The Point of your
Thorns’ mentions this as a common way too many wrongly respond to the pain of others. He
identifies it as a popular game we play. He calls it:
[X] 竞争者，将你的痛苦与他们的痛苦进⾏⽐较
这个⻆⾊在约伯的朋友中没有出现。但是，《你的刺的意义》的作者罗兰德·福尔曼提到这是许
多⼈错误地对待他⼈痛苦的⼀种常⻅⽅式。他将其称为我们常玩的⼀种流⾏游戏。他称之为：
“My pain is greater than your pain”
The rules are:
1. Tell someone about your thorn, or thorns.
2. Listen while they regale you with how much greater and more painful their thorn or catalogue
of thorns is.
3. Pull another pain card.
“我的痛苦⽐你的痛苦更⼤”
游戏规则如下：
1. 向某⼈讲述你的刺或痛苦。
2. 倾听他们为你详细叙述他们的刺或⼀系列有多么严᯿和痛苦。
3. 抽取另⼀张痛苦卡。
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If you’re going through suffering, all this does is accentuates the hurt and increase the feeling that no
one really gets you. No one truly understands what you’re going through.
The truth is that two people can go through the same set of circumstances and process it very
differently.
Someone has said that the most important thing we need to know about a person is that we don’t
know the most important thing about a person. In other words, we don’t know everything going on
behind the scenes. We don't know about the trigger points from their past. We don’t experience the
situation in the same way they do. We are different people.
如果你正在经历痛苦，这只会加重伤痛，增强了⼀种感觉，即没有⼈真正理解你。没有⼈真正
了解你正在经历的事情。
事实是，两个⼈可以经历相同的情况，但处理⽅式却可能完全不同。
有⼈说，我们需要了解⼀个⼈最᯿要的事情是我们不知道关于⼀个⼈最᯿要的事情。换句话
说，我们不知道所有幕后发⽣的事情。我们不了解他们过去的触发点。我们经历这种情况的⽅
式与他们不同。我们是不同的⼈。
It’s true that our pain does activate something in us that wants to comfort – it’s called empathy.
But, people don't need to hear what you went through. Empathy works best with the gift of
friendship and presence.
There is one final role people can wrongly take on. This one is especially unique among Christian
communities. It’s what I call the Divine Defender.
的确，我们的痛苦会引发我们内⼼的⼀种希望安慰他⼈的情感，这被称为共情。
但是，⼈们不需要听到你经历了什么。共情最好通过友情和陪伴来实现。
还有⼀个⼈们可能错误扮演的最后⼀个⻆⾊。这在基督教社区中尤其独特。我称之为“神的辩
护者”。
[X] The Divine Defender, who comes to the rescue of God’s reputation
Job knew that he was innocent. But he also had a similar theology to his friends. If your good, God
will give you a good life. If your bad, God will ensure you suffer in your life. But, because Job knew he
had done nothing to deserve this, his conclusion was therefore different to his friends: “Since, I’m
suffering and I’m good, God must be acting unfairly.”
So, Job calls God to account. He demands that God defend himself in a public courtroom. In effect, he
was saying, “I know better than God how to run the universe.”
As Job’s friends hear this, they instinctively jump to the role of Divine Defenders.
[X] 神的辩护者，为了维护上帝的声誉⽽出来辩护
约伯知道他是⽆辜的。但他与他的朋友们有着类似的神学观点。如果你是好⼈，上帝会给你美
好的⽣活。如果你是坏⼈，上帝会确保你在⽣活中受苦。但是，因为约伯知道他没有做错任何
事，所以他的结论与他的朋友不同：“既然我在受苦，⽽我是好⼈，上帝⼀定是在不公平地⾏
事。”
因此，约伯要求上帝为⾃⼰在公开法庭中进⾏辩护。实际上，他是在说：“我⽐上帝更懂得如
何管理宇宙。”
当约伯的朋友们听到这⼀点时，他们本能地扮演了神的辩护者的⻆⾊。
Understandably, they take offence at what they are hearing. It’s natural for them – and us - to defend
God. We love him. What Job said here is wrong. Perhaps, just perhaps, there is the possibility that
God may know something I don’t.
But, what we need to appreciate is that it is natural and normal amidst grief and pain to get angry,
and to say things – some of which aren’t right.
可以理解的是，他们对听到的内容感到冒犯。为他们 - 也为我们 - 为了捍卫上帝是很⾃然的。
我们爱祂。约伯在这⾥说的话是错误的。也许，只是也许，有可能上帝知道我不知道的事情。
但我们需要明⽩的是，在哀伤和痛苦中，⽣⽓和说出⼀些不正确的话是⾃然和正常的反应。
So, how does God respond to all this?
While Job’s friends have taken on these horrid roles, God has been doing what a good friend does: He
is fully attentive and listening.
When God finally speaks, He gives Job a greater revelation about Himself that moves Job to awe.
He asks a bunch of questions:
“Job, where does light come from, and where does darkness go? Do you know how to get there?
Surely you know!?
那么，上帝对这⼀切做出了怎样的回应呢？
虽然约伯的朋友们扮演了这些可怕的⻆⾊，但上帝⼀直在做⼀个好朋友该做的事情：他全神贯
注地倾听着。
当上帝最终发⾔时，他给了约伯⼀个更伟⼤的关于⾃⼰的启示，这让约伯感到敬畏。
他提出了⼀系列问题：
“约伯，光从哪⾥来，⿊暗往哪⾥去？你知道怎么去吗？你肯定知道吧！？
Who sends rain to satisfy the parched ground and make the tender grass spring up?
Why are the flowers so bright? Where does beauty even come from, Job?”
Question after question brings Job to a greater appreciation of Who God is.
Job and his friends had been looking at the initial mess and trying to figure it all out.
God steps in and brings Himself.
There, Job discovers a beauty and awe.
画
谁派遣⾬⽔来使荒废凄凉之地得以丰⾜，⻘草得以⽣⻓？
为什么花朵如此明亮？美丽从何⽽来，约伯？”
⼀个接⼀个的问题让约伯更加欣赏上帝是谁。
约伯和他的朋友⼀直在看着最初的混乱，试图解决问题。
上帝介⼊并带来了⾃⼰。
在那⾥，约伯发现了美丽和敬畏。
Job is never told the answer to the why question. The mess is still in the background. But, amidst the
mess, Job comes to know who God is in an even more profound way. In a beautiful way.
Job comes to love and trust God simply because he is God and not for anything He might get from
God. He comes to see just how amazing God is.
What about Job’s friends?
约伯从未得到为什么这⼀问题的答案。混乱仍然存在。但在混乱中，约伯以⼀种更加深刻和美
丽的⽅式认识了上帝是谁。
约伯开始因为祂是上帝⽽爱并信靠祂，⽽不是为了从上帝那⾥得到什么。他开始看到上帝是多
么神奇。
那么约伯的朋友们呢？
His friends expect God to condemn Job. Instead, God vindicates Job and puts his friends in their
place:
他的朋友们期望上帝会谴责约伯。然⽽，上帝为约伯辩护，让他的朋友们知道⾃⼰的位置：
“After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz: “I am angry with you and your two
friends, for you have not spoken accurately about me, as my servant Job has./ Job 42:7
耶和华对约伯说话以后，耶和华就对提幔⼈以利法说：“我的怒⽓向你和你两个朋友发作，因
为你们议论我，不如我的仆⼈约伯说的正确。 (约伯记42:7)
In some ways, it’s a strange thing for God to say. After all, Job has said some things that are wrong: He
cursed the day he was born, challenged God’s wisdom, cried out and complained bitterly, expressed
deep doubts. He doesn’t seem to convey a strong faith at all.
But God stands with Job.
You see, God is big enough to handle the complaints. He doesn’t need you or me to defend him even
when someone in pain raises all sorts of questions and makes all sorts of insinuations.
He wants us to be friends of the person suffering.
在某种程度上，上帝说这种话有些奇怪。毕竟，约伯说了⼀些错误的话：他诅咒了⾃⼰出⽣的
那⼀天，质疑了上帝的智慧，发出痛苦的呼声和抱怨，表达了深深的怀疑。他似乎根本没有表现出坚定的信仰。
但上帝站在约伯⼀边。
你看，上帝⾜够强⼤，可以应对抱怨。即使在某⼈痛苦时提出各种问题并发表各种暗示时，他
也不需要你我来为祂辩护。
祂希望我们成为遭受痛苦的⼈的朋友。
Yes, Job’s prayers were heated. But, he was talking to God about what he felt.
Yes he complained, but he complained to God.
Yes, He doubted but he doubted to God.
The whole time Job was looking to God. God is the only place to find beauty amidst the mess. God
delights when people continue to look to him amidst the mess.
是的，约伯的祷告是激烈的。但他在向上帝诉说他的感受。
是的，他抱怨，但他向上帝抱怨。
是的，他怀疑，但他向上帝怀疑。
在整个过程中，约伯⼀直在寻求上帝。上帝是在混乱中寻找美丽的唯⼀地⽅。当⼈们在混乱中
继续寻求上帝时，上帝会感到喜悦。
So, how do we help – and not hurt - people in pain?
My guess is that all of us has a colleague, a family member, a friend, a neighbour, someone in your
small group who is going through pain right now. I believe God has placed you into their life and he
wants you to simply be a friend.
What does a friend do?
那么，我们如何帮助 - ⽽不是伤害 - 正在痛苦中的⼈呢？
我猜每个⼈都有⼀个同事、家庭成员、朋友、邻居，或者⼩组中的某个⼈现在正在经历痛苦。
我相信上帝把你放到他们的⽣命中，祂只是希望你成为⼀个朋友。
朋友应该做什么呢？
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” /Proverbs 17:17
朋友时常亲爱，弟兄为患难⽽⽣。(箴⾔17:17)
“a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”/ Proverbs 18:24
朋友太多的⼈，必受损害；但有⼀知⼰⽐兄弟更亲密。(箴⾔18:24)
If you’re unsure what to do – my advice is to simply ask ‘What does a good friend do? How might I be
the friend they need right now?’
As we finish, I reckon it’s appropriate to give Job the chance to say what he would do if he could swap
places with his friends:
如果你不确定该怎么做 - 我的建议是简单地问：“⼀个好朋友会做什么？我如何成为他们现在需
要的朋友？”
最后，我认为给约伯⼀个机会说出，如果他可以与他的朋友交换位置，他会做什么：
“I could say the same things if you were in my place. I could spout off criticism and shake my head at
you. But if it were me, I would encourage you. I would try to take away your grief.”/ Job 16:4-5 NLT
我也能说你们那样的话，你们若处在我的景况，我也可以堆砌⾔词攻击你们，⼜可以向你们摇
头。但我必⽤⼝坚固你们，颤动的嘴唇带来舒解。(约伯记16:4-5)
In other words, Job says, I too could take on the role of…
[X] The Philosopher, who gives their answer to the ‘why’ question
[X] The Judge, who blames the sufferer
[X] The Competitor, who compares your pain with theirs
[X] The Divine Defender, who comes to the rescue of God’s reputation
换句话说，约伯说，我也可以扮演以下⻆⾊之⼀：
[X] 哲学家，为“为什么”问题提供答案
[X] 法官，指责受苦者
[X] 竞争者，将你的痛苦与他们的痛苦进⾏⽐较
[X] 神的辩护者，为了维护上帝的声誉⽽出来辩护
Instead, Job says “I would be …
[√] The Friend, who is fully attentive, present, and caring
That’s the friend we all need when we’re suffering.
That’s the friend we all need to be for each other.
相反，约伯说：“我将成为…
[√] 全⼼关注、陪伴和关⼼的朋友。
这就是我们在受苦时都需要的朋友。
这也是我们彼此需要成为的朋友。
PRAYER
Q: Who might God be bringing to mind right now?
Lets take a moment to pray for them and ask him how we might help.
Back to painting.
Well, the painting began as a mess.
But, it’s a now a beautiful scene.
• I wonder how God might use you and me to bring his strokes to the messiness someone is
experiencing.
18 of 20
• I wonder if God might be able to use friendship as a way to help someone begin to see how
God is present, especially present amidst the pain and the mess.
• Perhaps – just perhaps – through simple friendship, God is able to grow something new.
• Can we show our appreciation to Nicola today?
Each week – we have some special cards that have been designed for this series. Each week, the cards
will serve a different purpose.
This week – we want to invite you to take a card or two up here (shortly) and send this card as an
encouragement to a friend. We all need encouragement, especially when times are tough… Who
might you encourage? Why not write a note and let them know you are thinking of them today. Send
it, or better still, invite them to a coffee where you can share this with them. Perhaps God might use a
small gesture like this as a way of bringing help, and not hurt, to the pain someone is experiencing.
祷告
问题：上帝现在可能会让你想到谁？
让我们花⼀点时间为他们祷告，询问祂我们如何可以帮助他们。
回到这幅画。
嗯，这幅画⼀开始是⼀团糟。
但是，现在是⼀个美丽的场景。
• 我想知道上帝如何能够使⽤你和我来将他的画笔带到某⼈正在经历的混乱中。
• 我想知道上帝是否能够使⽤友情作为⼀种⽅式来帮助某⼈开始看到上帝的同在，尤其是在痛
苦和混乱中。
• 也许 - 只是也许 - 通过简单的友情，上帝能够培育出⼀些新的东⻄。
• 我们向尼古拉表示感谢
每周 - 我们都有⼀些为这个系列设计的特别卡⽚。每周，这些卡⽚都会有不同的⽤途。
这周 - 我们想邀请你来拿⼀张或两张卡⽚（⻢上）并将这张卡⽚寄给⼀位朋友，作为⼀种⿎
励。在困难时期，我们都需要⿎励... 你可以⿎励谁？为什么不写⼀封便条，让他们知道你今天
在想着他们。寄出去，或者更好的是，邀请他们喝咖啡，你可以与他们分享这些。也许上帝可
以借助这样⼀个⼩⼩的举动来帮助，⽽不是伤害，某⼈正在经历的痛苦。
COMMUNION
As we come to take communion, we think of another who suffered.
As Job lost everything– so did Jesus.
He too was let down by close friends. Some ran from him. One denied knowing him. One betrayed
him.
Though innocent, he became cursed by God.
His experience was certainly bleak and messiness.
And yet, through the suffering of Jesus, we find life and beauty.
Let’s come and take communion together, in the hope that we have One who understands our thorns,
and is able to bring life and beauty through His presence with us.
As you do, grab one or two of the cards… take the bread/cup, and
圣餐
当我们前来领圣餐时，我们想到了另⼀个受苦的⼈。
正如约伯失去了⼀切 - 耶稣也是如此。
他亲近的朋友让他失望了。有些⼈离开了他。有⼀个否认认识他。有⼀个背叛了他。
虽然⽆辜，但他被上帝诅咒了。
他的经历确实是黯淡和混乱的。
然⽽，通过耶稣的苦难，我们找到了⽣命和美丽。
让我们⼀起来领圣餐，⼼存盼望我们有⼀位理解我们的刺的⼈，祂能够通过与我们同在带来⽣
命和美丽。
